I lost myself again for a while and lost sight of why I began writing again and why I took my life back, but as of 8:32 am this morning, I vowed to get back on track.
I once was a total badass. Not that all my badassiness (I’m making it a fucking thing) has completely disappeared, but I let myself forget that I am a good person and that I am good enough.
I started reading You are a Badass, by Jen Sincero and I am going to stop doubting my greatness and remember that I already have a pretty awesome life.
“Deciding means jumping in all the way, doing whatever it takes, and going after your dreams with the tenacity of a dateless cheerleader, a week before prom night”. This quote appears in Sincero’s introduction. It made me want to start training for a marathon, call 1-800-GOT JUNK to help get rid of the clutter in my house and start a new business.
This happened to me once before. I was inspired by The Happiness Project late last year. I was inspired to start my blog, to do 10 minutes of tidying per day and to read more.
A few months back, I decided to venture into the world of online dating. It is not for the faint of heart or those with thin skin. Although I don’t have scary stories (Whew) or particularly horrendous stories, the callousness and insensitivity of some people used to surprise me. No more.
However, even in the short period of 3 months where I put myself out there in the virtual world, I learned that chatting with someone everyday for almost a month can result in nothing, kisses don’t mean the same to everyone, conversations can end abruptly with no explanation and people still to try to get away with pictures from 10 years ago. I have learned that just because I might be ready to put myself out there in the universe, the universe knows better.
I’ve decided to take a break from chatting for a little while. The timing doesn’t seem to be right and I know that I have other things I can focus my energy on namely, getting my badass on.
I put myself first today. I reminded myself that I fucking matter.